To Have and To Hold On

10 Tips for the Chronic Illness Marriage

Because of chronic illness, our marriage faces some significant challenges. The dynamic is different, our roles have been modified, and we spend a lot of time in survival mode. And we aren’t the only ones. Some studies show that 75% of couples dealing with chronic disease end in divorce.

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So how do we beat the odds? Well no matter what issue you are dealing with in marriage, putting God and His biblical principles for marriage first and foremost is a wonderful way to foolproof your relationship. Beyond that, here are some tips for handling the specific issues that come up when your marriage is impacted by chronic illness.

Chronic Illness Rarely Takes a Vacation

Curing Disappointment with Gratitude

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

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For a joint Valentine’s-6th anniversary-we need a break(!) vacation, Michael and I took a trip to a cabin resort outside of Austin. Every detail was carefully planned to ensure its best possible success. With his illness, so many variables can sabotage our efforts, so we tried to include a wide margin of error in time and energy to avoid any possible pitfalls. It was likely the only trip we’ll take this year.

In Sickness & In Health

A Tribute to Marriage with Illness


Back in December 2009, my sister called to tell me that  a co-worker at her new job had a single brother—and they thought we might hit it off. Somehow I couldn’t match her excitement. I’d had lots of people tell me about their nephew’s friend’s second-cousin’s single brother that I just had to meet. Most of the time it never followed through.

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But I knew this was different when this brother contacted me a few days later on Facebook. We messaged back and forth and talked on the phone for a whole month before we ever laid eyes on each other.

When our spouse knows how to suffer,
when they don’t live in denial,
but confront the sorrows of life,
when they don’t live in despair
but know how to laugh and cry at the same time,
when they offer support and hope in all of life’s challenges,
when they can see the big picture of life,
then,
every grief is wedded to hope,
every sorrow is matched with love,
and every hurt is paired with healing.”  Source

Kevin A. Thompson

Don’t Let Chronic Illness or Pain Keep You From Living Your Life

Michael’s health began to deteriorate almost the second we returned from our honeymoon. We had no idea what was down the pike when he carried me across the threshold of our new apartment. We were still living on love and floating on clouds of bliss.

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But only three months after our wedding, Michael became so debilitated by multiple chemical sensitivity, chronic fatigue, weak spells, and insomnia that we were forced to move in with my parents. Something in apartment #1206 was making him sick.

The Best Friends We Never Wanted

May I introduce you to the two friends who have so faithfully followed us through the struggles of chronic illness?

They have been with us through thick and thin.

Beloved Reader, meet our close companions: Disappointment and Change O. Plans.

Oh, I see you are already well-acquainted…

How nice.

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I don’t know about you, but my five-year relationship with our mutual “friends” is one I’d like to end!

Are you familiar with the famous breakup line? “It’s not you, it’s me.”

Well trust me, Mr. Disappointment and Miss Change O. Plans. It’s definitely you.

Taking Care of the Caregiver — Yes, You!

When your spouse begins struggling with chronic illness, it’s inevitable that you will need to take on additional responsibilities. No matter how much you love them and want to be a help, the struggle to keep up with life and help the family carry on can add quite a weight.

by Kevin Casper

by Kevin Casper

If we’re not careful as caregivers, we can become resentful, short-tempered, and suffer from burn-out. Ain’t nobody got time for that!